18 May 2007

The Best Signs and Pictures from Around Asia

Currently reading: China: Regional Studies Series

Currently listening to: Why Should The Fire Die?, Nickel Creek

Today I present you the funniest pictures my friends and I have taken in the last few months. These are all real photographs, I couldn't make these up if I tried. As always, click on the picture to enlarge. Normally this blog is rated G, but this post earns a PG-13 warning --just a heads up!

Found Abroad in Asia:

Malaysia: On our bus trip to Singapore, we stopped at a rest stop. In the stall was this picture, giving us proper direction on how to use the toilet. Since many Asians are used to squatting, they sometimes try squatting on Western-style toilets. So this picture is trying in encourage normal use of the toilet (left image), rather than squatting over the toilet (right image).

Singapore: "Protected Place: No Admittance to Unauthorized Persons" or else you'll be held at gunpoint, like the graphic.

Entering Singapore: We were amused by the customs forms upon entering lovely Singapore--"Warning Death for Drug Traffickers Under Singapore Law." Apparently, Singapore's not a good place to smuggle drugs to, just FYI :)

Sentosa Island, Singapore: "Do Not Lean Over" I'm not sure what's more funny--the posted escalator hours or the graphic for not leaning over. Wouldn't you know if the escalator wasn't operating if it wasn't running?!? Just in case you need to plan when to use the escalator...

At a food court in Singapore: Don't you want to eat "pig's organ" too?

Malaysia: "Caution There May Occasionally Be Jellyfish in the Sea" What? Only occasionally?!? Aren't there always jellyfish in the sea? Where else would they live?

In Malaysia, outside of a travel agency: "We provide Outbound Tour Services to: Europe, Australia, New Zealand, Japan, Korea, Exotic Countries, China and etc." The working assumption: China is not an exotic country. Ahem, I beg to differ...

In and Around Eastern China:

At one of the temples in downtown Wuxi: (note the fire extinguishers)

Of course, it's the "key location of fire safety"

In Shanghai: "Sex Health Protecion Monopoly" Not quite what you'd think it is...it was just a lingerie store. I'm not sure how those two equate though.

At an outdoor venue in Shanghai: "Set Up a Central Stage for the Special Olympics Movement, and Build a Warm Family for Intellectually Challenged People //Special Olympics--A Stage to Show the Loving Heart" They have a loving heart but are very politically incorrect!

In the Ancient Town in Shanghai: This wins the prize for best graphic. Watch out, the rocks are coming straight for your head!

Back in Wuxi: "Engage in building up an everlasting classic new port" --I maintain that the signs around construction sites have the best English signs.

Same place: "The Spacious Panorama Constitutes Freedom." This begs the question--Does the cluttered panorama constitute restriction?

Again: "The best house presents you the more elegant lifestyle." I wish!

Still same construction site: "Wealth rerlizes Dream" What else does wealth rerlize?

The Great Wall (Thanks to Lindsey for the pictures):

"Appreciate lovely view of the Great Wall, do not forget the fire is heartless" Hmm, I didn't know fires had hearts--Unlike most of the other signs, I truly don't understand what they are trying to communicate.

"Be civilized visitor, set up the ecosystem scenery together" or AKA "Protect the environment"

You know you want to visit a four-star toilet! Again, it begs the question--Are there four-star roads? Four-star trees? Four-star trashcans?

Don't forget to "wash your hands to fight bird flu"!

Recently found on an undisclosed person: "Orgasm, orgasm, orgasm, orgasm"

Tiger Hill in Suzhou (Thanks to Megan for the pictures):

"Protection of Virescene Relies on Each of Us as We Coexist under the Same Blue Sky" Hmm, can you offer a better translation?

"Only in The Sun of Civilization Can Trees Maintain Evergreen" How does the sun of civilization help maintain evergreen trees?

"Give the Grass a Little Love, the Grass will Reward You an Extension of Green" Is an extension of green really a reward?

Yikes--Did you know "Your Health Rests with Your Civilized Behavior"? Maybe I've been sick because my behavior hasn't been civilized...there's the missing link!

The pièce de résistance, or the whole reason why I wrote this post: This gem was found at our hair salon. I think you could make the case that it would be easier to randomly pick words out of a dictionary and they would make more sense then this supposed English.

"Extrude the fit to measure the avoid to wash the be partial to hair the vegetable even smear over on the wet hair or f*** the hair,then Point the stomach to lightly massage the dry part of caustic of suffering of hair, and not need to wash the water."

What can you say to that?!?